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Dancing Queen!

Snowfest '07: Deano Today!

Deano Today! For there is no tomorrow.

So the drink-fest we referred to as Deano's 40th birthday part that I originally went up to Illinois for was at hand. I headed out to Deano's shed for a little pre-drinking. Deano and the lovely and talented Mrs. Deano recently purchased an awesome new place out in the country. For the purposes of this discussion, let's assume that the property's best feature is the ginormous, heated shed Deano appropriated for his Man Room.

The Man Room has tools, a fridge, popcorn maker, cable TV with Sirius Radio programming, a toilet, sofas, easy chair, a floor drain and lots and lots of room for Deano to hang his ever-growing collection of deer racks.

Anyway, after lubing up on a couple of Miller Lites, we headed in to the Iron Horse golf course clubhouse for some steaks and libations. We were stymied at the steaks (long story) but the beer and the conversation was flowing freely. After dinner, we started buying shots for each other, but mostly for the birthday boy. He also got a cool radio-controlled car that he took great pleasure in manuvering around the clubhouse, banging in to patrons and friends.

We eventually made it back out to the Man Room and proceeded with the drinking. We stopped off on the way out and picked up some tequila, Hot Damn and melon schnappes, to go along with the whiskey, rum and assortment of beers. There were also some decent cigars floating around, but I passed on those due to my recent bout with a sore throat.

Party roll call: Me, Deano, Keri, BJ, Desi, Jeff, Tim, Sue, Kevin, Angela, Mark, Shann, Sherri & Robert.

Notable by their weak-ass absence: Leins, Lisa Jr., and Jake the Snake. Bitches. Also, The Riddler and Bev, though they are excused due to previously made, equally legit plans.

Anyway, I think Deano had a good time and appreciated all the love. I had a blast drinking, visiting and playing cards with the old gang. I'm finna do it again as soon as possible.


Two words: Sexy. Beast.


Deano expresses his appreciation.


Uh, where's your beer, Sherri?


Steering the r/c car in the clubhouse.


Everybody looks up to BJ.


Uh, where's your beer, Sherri?


Deano looks like he just hit the lotto.


The Man Room is a massive, steel cave.


Silks is pretending for his wife that he's done drinking,
but we all know better. Have another Hot Damn, Silks!


Sha-na-na-naaaaa! I used to sit behind
her and pull her hair in 7th grade.


Uh, where's your beer, Sherri?


Silks takes a turn with the R/C.


How's that turd treatin' ya, Young-o?


Spades alone, bitches!


Damn, guys! What makes McCumber so
damn good at euchre!?


Keri takes pot shots at rogue balloons.

Movie Review On Crack - 300

I only wish I had thought to write this review. For now, it remains uncredited, so thanks to my IB buddy ATL for posting it.



300 -

I just saw a movie that'll give your eyes boners, make your balls scream and make you poop DVD copies of THE TRANSPORTER. It's called 300. I don't know what the title has to do with the movie, but they could've called it KITTENS MAKING CANDLES and it'd still rule.

It's about these 300 Greek dudes who stomp the sugar-coated shit out of like a million other dudes. I have a feeling that a lot of high school sports coaches are going to show this film to their teams before they play. Also, gay dudes and divorced women are going to use screen captures for computer wallpaper.

The movie takes place about a million years ago, and it's sort of like a prequel to SIN CITY. Except way less guns and cars but twice as much skull splitting.
If you watch this movie and go into a Taco Bell, and say to the cashier, "I need some extra sauce packets"
guess what? You're getting twenty sauce packets because your face will punch him in the brain.

I can't spoil the plot because THANK GOD THERE ISN'T ONE. Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that's hitting someone's balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.

TWO COOL THINGS ABOUT THE MOVIE AND ONE THING I DIDN'T
LIKE:

COOL THING ONE:
HEAVY METAL DURING BATTLE SCENES

Who gives a shit if the music isn't historically correct? LORD OF THE RINGS could've used some Journey.
This movie has that chu-CHUNG kind of metal that you hear in your head when your shift supervisor at Wetzel's Pretzel is telling you that you'll have to stay for clean up and you wish you had a sock filled with quarters in your hand.

COOL THING TWO:
FOES, MINI-BOSSES AND A BIG BOSS

Basically, the Greek dudes are fighting these Persian dudes, but the director, who must have a dick made of three machine guns, does it all like a video game. The Greeks fight through every death metal video from the last ten years. There's wave after wave of giants, freaks, ninjas, mutants, wizards, and a hunchback who looks like he's got Rosie O'Donnell on his back.

Would I have been happy if Dom DeLuise from HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART I had shown up? Maybe, but this movie more than makes up for that glaring oversight.

NOT SO GOOD THING:
DUDE NUDITY ("DUDE-ITY")

These are Greek times, when there were a lot of naked women around. And there are some naked women in this film, but almost every naked woman scene has a muscular dude giving the screen an ass picnic.
Dude-ity is something directors put in their movies so people will think they're serious, I guess, and not just throwing in naked hotties.

Any directors reading this - IT'S OKAY TO JUST THROW IN NAKED HOTTIES.

Can't someone make a movie about naked Amazons and call it PAUSE BUTTON?

My final analysis is 300 the most ass-ruling movie I've seen this year, and will probably be the King of
2007 unless someone makes a movie where a pair of sentient boobs fights a werewolf.

Snowfest '07: Local 420

Saturday morning in Tuscola was brisk and clear. I had some errands to run around town and was killing time while waiting to have lunch with an old homey. I ended up taking a lot of pics around town to share with my kids and L.A. It made me pretty homesick, but it was bittersweet and ultimately I'm glad I got to refresh my memory bank. Here are some of the Tuscola pics I took Saturday morning.


This is the house I grew up in. Someday
I'm going to buy this place and move back in.


The courthouse. I spent a lot of hours here as a reporter. It's also the home of the B.F. Reed GAR Post (which is a story for another day).


The library. I was granted my first library card here in 1973 when I was 6. The first book I checked out was Call of the Wild.


This is Festival Plaza downtown. This lot used to house The Douglas Hotel - a historic building that burned down in the late '70s. I was there along with the rest of the town watching it burn.


I've climbed to the top of this sumbitch with a bottle of tequila several times.


This was Gus's Kandy Kitchen when I was a kid. His progeny have restored it and now it's Flesor's Kandy Kitchen. Very cool place.

After a while of pic taking, I headed over to pick up my buddy Gerrod. Gerrod is an amazing dude and I make sure I get at least a few hours with him every time I'm home. Whenever he comes to Florida to visit his brother, we get together to drink beer and do some night fishing.

Our plan for Saturday afternoon was to dart over to Atwood and watch a couple of our buds, Spike and the Riddler. play in their band practice. The band is called Local 420 and it was a special event as it was Riddler's fiance's birthday, the drummer's birthday and the rhythm guitarist's anniversary, all that weekend. Riddler's fiance, Bev, put together a spread of Italian beef, stuffed mushrooms, hot wings and a bunch of other goodies and desserts.

It was also the first time I had ever seen Spike Man sing. Had no idea the dude could sing. But it turned, dude could really wail! I was impressed. The band was set up in Riddlers basement and the buffet downstairs was almost as sweet as the buffet upstairs. There was a half dozen different types of beers, Sangria, whiskey and lots of smoke.

Gerrod and I grabbed a beer and a plate full of food and settled in to watch the show along with old friends Rich and Cowboy. I was really impressed. Over the years, Riddler has evolved into an accomplished guitarist and songwriter and he's assembled some really talented guys around him. The next time I'm home, I hope to be watching them in a decent bar venue and getting suitably rowdy and hammered.

This is Local 420.




The Riddler. Aint none other! Check out the guitar.



Spike. Who knew the dude could wail?


Ridds cops a cheap feel!


Dirty Dave!


Kelso & Chris.


.00far It's a Tuscola thang.

Snowfest '07: Friday Night in CU

I hooked up with Ryan, Joe, Chris, Amber and Jen at Whitehorse in Champaign. It might have been 20 years since my last visit there. They had decent vodka and draft beer specials. We hung for a bit and I tried to convince my buddy Lucas to join us, but he had to work late unexpectedly and couldn't make it.

The highlight of the White Horse stop was watching Chris rip into a basket of wings like a starving wolverine who just stumbled on an elk carcass. It was a sight to behold and surpassed only by Jen and Amber's attempts to clean him up like a little kid - wiping his mouth and greasy fingers. Awesometastic!

I thought for sure I'd get to see them make out! But alas, no.

Chris throwin' signs. Or something.

After White Horse we headed downtown to Jupiters. I had never been to these (relatively) new bars and was pretty impressed. Decent pool tables, great beer selection (including Stella on tap!), nice looking servers and we managed to snag a table by the front door. The front door table turned out to be a lot of fun as Champaign has implemented a no indoor smoking rule and there was always at least one smoker standing right outside the window, huddled under the heat lamp. We got these guys to pose, snapped their pics and even went outside to harass or hang out with them.

Random smoker dude outside the window.

Ryan braves the cold for a smoke.

We were joined at Jupiters by Andrew, Seth & Dan and Jen broke out the cards for a game of Hi-Lo. The cards were a hit and we had a lot of fun,except for Chris who proclaimed he didn't play card games. He did, however, join in the pic fun as everyone took a took on the cameras.

Chris is playing coy!

Hong Kong Phooey! a.k.a Andrew

Paignfull with the Tuscy imitation! *fingerguns*

Aaahhhh, dude! You should have said, "Lower!" Drink 17!

Dan gives a confused Ryan a little advice about the ladies.

Ryan and I snuck off for a couple shots of tequila and then we rounded everybody up to head over to Guido's. Guido's was another contemporary bar I had never been to and it had a decent crowd and two levels. We rolled down the stairs and settled in. Amber snuck off to go pass out for the night and Joe was screwing around and ended up flat on his back. Good times! Chris ran into several people he knew as did Ryan.

theryan = PWN3D by the old guy!!

At 6' 7" Seth consumes mass quantities and wrests the galoot title away from TIT.

Joe is a bad influence on me - and everyone else around him!

JayD = smoooooooove!

After a bit, I reminded myself that I was supposed to be saving myself for the Saturday night bash and I slipped away, told Ryan that I was taking off and headed for the parking lot. It was here that my night took a little twist. It had been snowing all evening and the temperature had risen. I hadn't experienced snow in a decade so I decided that instead of going home, I'd take a little walk in the snow and take some more pics.

I ended up walking around for an hour. The pics aren't high quality as I had my camera set to a lower resolution so I could take a ton of pics, but they suited my purposes. And you can't tell by the pics, but it snowed hard the entire time I was out. The walk in the snow ended up being one of the highlights of the trip. I was completely comfortable in the cold and it was great to walk around enjoy the snow and see the changes that have taken place downtown over the past 10 years.